Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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