My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
