I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
