We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
