"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
