i barfeds in our rink
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
