you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
