Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
