white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You need a sexual gate keeper
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize