I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize