Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize