Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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