Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
