Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
