that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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