so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
