Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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