whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
