Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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