It's like a parade of train wrecks.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
