Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
