I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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