How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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