Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
