ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My hand turned me down
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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