i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
