Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
