We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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