Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
