so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
