Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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