i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
