I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
