Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
