i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
