I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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