We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
