That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
