No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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