i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
