a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I would ride that face into the sunset
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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