He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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