I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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