Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I could fuck to npr.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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