my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
