Yo dont text me then not text me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize