I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I can't turn off my feet"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
