using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
is it fun? or sober?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
