No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
