so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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