PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
