If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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