Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i think i have two assholes
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
