Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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