hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
